Saturday, 23 October 2010

Gem Fatale

Out of all the blogs I subscribe to (and believe me there are a fair few) Gem Fatale's is most definitely my favourite. Her down to earth, friendly and fashionable advice and musings are pure awesomeness.

If that wasn't enough, to mark her 3 year bloggiversary she had a giveaway every day of last week. Epic.

If you enter you're in with a chance of winning Boots No. 7 Protect and Perfect Intense range,  some gorgeous Tabio tights and socks, beautiful jewellery by Me & Zena, dresses by Max C London, and some cute boots from Bertie. Too cool.

Wish me luck in the giveaways!

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

New school bag

Okay I don't normally do this kind of thing but I'm shamelessly in love with satchel bags at the moment and the chance to win this one is something I can't pass up.

The opportunity comes from the wonderful Ladenzeile & CRUEL THING whose style is amazing. I'd recommend hopping over to take a look :)

Susie x

Sunday, 19 September 2010


Loyal recruit
with a c not a q and the right wing view that all should obey and stand straight while they pace in front.
art is not art is not fond of you. You are fond of me. The marching and the arching of backs as you exercise your body not your rights not your thoughts.
conform. believe. cause a wave of nothing and nothing and nothing and
but not anything
because you are not you. are not thoughts are not curses are not heart-felt opinions.


on a line in front of my
and my brow that drips
because i cannot hold
or understand
or comprehend
what is happening
snapping the life from my mind
and the pen
which is mightier than the
but falls uselessly down by my side
as i submit and
that I can't

2351 and no closer to lightsout

Without you.
Without death and shadows and shoulders and crows and fear of going outside of opening your mouth and saying, straying, words falling, calling your name. This once.
Knowing I me it as one two all together now. Promises are cracking, smacking, holding down your neck and veins
sobbing and gasping for breath as I gaze
in a hazy, lazy fashion at the ground and mark the
footprints, the patterns and designs and finds on the carpet floor.


Haven't you heard or seen or witnessed or confessed. The pope is here. It's time to move and grovel and humble yourselves to the structure of society and the hierarchy of a system put in place to make the highest the lowest and the lowest the highest and just look at what has happened. We are told of the atrocities and calamities and catastrophes but not the saving, the healing, the grace the pace that quickens in hearts round the world.
The power and the strength and the honourable push push push to keep wheels grinding, mechanisms winding
you up.


I am the city.
I am the waves and the motions and the cars swish swooshing past the anchors and the mirrors and the horrors. I am the passing of time. The movement of molecules, air particles, tiny
I am your ever-ending will to survive and believe and question everything and nothing and accept everything and nothing and believe.
I am the turning of the clock. The ticking of the wheels.
I am you and you are a horse-carriage, rocking, smoking, locking and halting.
Before falling.

Friday, 13 August 2010

Late night noise

I'm waiting for you.

I've settled myself down and now I'm waiting.

You said this time it'd work.

I've done everything you've asked.

But no amount of refreshing or waving you in the air will make you play.

I hate technology.

I'm wired

I'm hyped

I've had the red and the orange and the yellow and the green and the purple

I'm ready to go

No stopping me now

I'm alive

You don't understand me

You don't know what it's like

You say I'm wasting my money

Destroying my body

Ruining my life

But you don't know

You've never tried it

You don't know how it feels

Come on

I say

Just try it

And you reach out

And you take it

And you taste the rainbow

One by One

Two by Two

Three by Three


Now I've started I can't stop

You're giving me headaches, sweats, cramps

You're giving me toothache, rotted gums, obesity

You're giving me odd looks on the bus,
hidden wrappers in my room,
missed meals,
empty bank,
throwing up in the toilets

But still the hands shovel

Still the mouth waters

Still the teeth crunch,
the bones break,
the fingers snap
and down it goes

Down, down, down
to the dank pit

Already overloaded

Please, God, not more

Please help me

Please stop me

I want to

I'm sick of you

I hate you

I despise you

But I can't stop

Please, God, not more
I raised £850 for the gastro unit by shaving my head.

Win :)

Friday, 16 July 2010

Hates when this
and that
and those
lose their meaning.
Create new songs without me
so I have to listen through muffled pillows


crows and ghosts
and worms
and maggots
on my shoulders
in the bath

make a statement
make it true
make them believe

and drop
and splash
and slop around.


All this and more can be yours


move move move
nowhere to go.

It's your turn now.

Thursday, 17 June 2010

Susie's Big Shave

Susie's Big Shave!

On 17th July 2010 I will be shaving my head to raise money for the P2 ward (
Fund no. 4275-ward P2) at the Royal Hallamshire hospital in Sheffield, which deals with all gastro enquiries.

The shave will be taking place at 2-4pm at All Saints Ecclesall Parish Church where there will also be cakes for sale and live acoustic sets from some great Sheffield artists!

More info on the cause

The department of Gastroenterology at the Hallamshire Hospital is an acknowledged centre of excellence, providing services to cover the entire range of gastrointestinal conditions including endoscopy. This service deals with the diagnosis and treatment of disorders of the digestive system including abdominal pain, ulcers and cancer. Gastroenterologists perform complex diagnostic and therapeutic procedures and consult with surgeons when abdominal operations are required. The department is renowned nationally and has pioneered a number of unique endoscopic techniques. Expertise includes investigation and treatment of acid reflux, dyspepsia, diarrhoea, inflammatory bowel diseases, coeliac disease and pancreatic disease. It also provides one of the country’s only Capsule Endoscopy services to investigate suspected small bowel disease such as gastrointestinal bleeding, suspected Crohn’s disease, and familial polyposis.

It's not the most glamorous of wards. Patients often have to undergo very uncomfortable and embarrassing procedures to find the source of their digestive problems, which have sometimes gone undiagnosed for some time. The staff there are some of the only people willing to listen to your bowel complaints (a subject not many people want to talk about!), and don't give up in trying to find the source of your difficulties.

On a personal level, it is this department that have investigated me over the last couple of years. Despite all my symptoms pointing towards a diagnosis of Crohn's disease, several procedures were unable to find it. The doctors didn't give up though and referred me to have a capsule endoscopy- a painless and ingenious piece of technology that finally enabled me to be diagnosed. This isn't a cheap procedure and Sheffield is one of the only places in the country that offers it. People I met in hospital had come from all over the country to get help from this ward and they weren't disappointed. One woman said she would've had to wait over six months to have the all investigations carried out that they did in one day at the Hallamshire.

I want to raise money for the care of those you rarely hear about. This is something that could affect you one day and the progress of technology and new treatments could help a close relative or friend get back to living a normal life. It would be great if you could sponsor me- I'll be shaving my head for this cause! To do so via Just Giving (a quick and easy way to give money to charity online) click on the link at the side of my page.

For more details please contact

Thanks x

Saturday, 12 June 2010


More and more I'm realising I was born far too late. More and more I'm realising the people I fit in best with are the people I see the least. More and more I'm realising that I'm changing faster than I thought I would.

It's just one of those points in life. Where you realise you get on better with people almost twice your age. Where you realise certain relationships have grown stale and your not actually sure you want to renew them. Where you want to completely change your outward appearance to illustrate the change within. Where you want to move to Scandinavia.

This is another reason I'm annoyed at having to resit the year- I just don't really fit in there. I'm so eager to get out there- to broaden my horizons; too see MORE.

I want to live in a library.
I want to shave my head.
I want to wear lipstick.
I want to stay up to watch the sun rise.
I want to make campfires.
I want to learn to sing.
I want to wear headdresses.
I want to dance to 80s ska-punk with tall lads wearing shades.
I want to travel.
I want to abandon technology for a while.
I want to act every day.
I want to wear fancy dress for the sake of it.
I want to swim in the wild.
I want to talk for hours and hours about everything and anything.
I want to drink coffee.
I want to not worry about money.
I want to walk everywhere I go.
I want to re-decorate.
I want to develop my own film.

I want the impossibly perfect life everyone dreams of. But it's probably nothing like yours.

Saturday, 8 May 2010


I want this summer to be full of rolling in the grass and water fights.
Barbecues and slush puppies.
Shorts and skirts and suncream.
Ripped tights from climbing trees.
Picnics that cost £1 from tescos.
Learning new things like how to skateboard and do french plaits.
Bruised knees and scraped elbows from daytime adventures in the woods.
Late nights drinking beer outside and watching bats flit around the house.
Seeing people you've neglected.
Smoothies and virgin cocktails.
Fish and chips on the beach.
Doing something spontaneous.

(I claim no credit for these photos. All I had saved on my computer and lost the source of. Apologies to the owners of these photos, do contact me if you want them taken down.)

 I want this summer to be perfect.